Five Lessons from Five Months of Marriage.

As of today, Drew and I have been married for five months. Time has surely flown by, but memories of our wedding day are still very fresh in mind. A special thank you to everyone who helped make October 26, 2014 the day of my dreams.

During the past five months, marriage has taught me many lessons, but today I am just going to share with you the five that are most important to me.

1.       Live on Compromise Street. I cannot even begin to express how important compromise has proved to be in our marriage. A few weeks ago, the topic of Halloween costumes came up, and well, Drew and I were not exactly on the same page. Instead of both of us not relenting on what we wanted to do, we compromised. He gave a little, I gave a little and eventually we both were very satisfied with the final decision. Compromise has also come in very handy when deciding what to eat for supper. Because, of course, "whatever you want, babe" is cool until someone suggests pizza. ;)

2.       Show Grace, Never Guilt. I am not a perfect person. My husband is not a perfect person. We both make mistakes. I am known to “get in my feelings” on occasion. I am so thankful that in those moments Drew shows me grace. I can’t imagine any marriage surviving with two partners that didn’t show each other grace on a daily basis. Especially if one of those partners plays the bass guitar. For real, y’all.

3.       Gender Roles, Smender Roles. The strongest teams allow the players to do what they do best. So often we automatically assign roles in marriages based on gender. I assumed that my marriage would be no exception to that. But, the truth is, my husband is a much better cook than I am. I still do the majority of the cooking, but I am okay to admit that the meals he prepares are a bit higher on the flavor scale than things I cook. Another piece of truth that I am slightly ashamed of, I didn’t even own salt or pepper pre-Drew – much less the other twenty spices that now fill the cabinet above our stove.

4.       I Can Hear Clearer Now. Communication. Communication. Communication. I cannot say it enough! I thought for sure that mind reading was a ginger superpower, but folks, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it's not.  I’ve learned to say exactly what I feel/mean, and ask questions if I am not sure what Drew means. A funny real life scenario took place about a week before Valentine’s Day this year. Drew and I were just hanging out, and I mentioned to him that I wanted a wristlet as a Valentine’s Day gift. Well, I should have been more clear, because Drew thought that wristlet was just another word for bracelet. No, my dear, just no.

5.       Don’t Just Say Love, Do It. Loving someone is much, much more than just telling them that you love them. Don’t get me wrong telling them is so important, and I make a point to tell Drew several times a day how much I love him. What I’ve found means even more though is when he shows me that he loves me. It may be something simple like rubbing my tummy while we sit on the couch in the evenings, or taking my dirty plate to the kitchen for me, but those small acts truly make me feel loved. Love is such a huge thing, but it really is just all of the little things added together.

People are constantly asking us how married life is. The short answer is that it is wonderful. I love being married, and I am so thankful for the man that God blessed me with. Our first six months of marriage have been full of things that I expected, and also things that I did not. Like the other night, I was sitting on the floor in our living room clipping Drew’s toenails, and as I looked up at him I couldn’t contain my laughter. On our very first date, I never imagined clipping his toenails, but at that moment, I couldn’t think of any other place I would rather be on a Wednesday night. And if you’ve ever seen Drew’s toenails, you know that this must truly be a lifelong love.

Blessings,
Hannah

Monday Blues? Change Your Point of View – Because Greater is Coming!

I hope I am not the only one that feels this way, but sometimes I dread Monday morning. Tomorrow around 7 a.m., I’ll be starting a brand new week (well, after hitting the snooze button an annoying amount of times – sorry babe!). It all starts again. The cycle of “waiting for Friday” that so many of us get caught up in will be here in less than 10 hours.  I try to make a point to remind myself to be in the present - to enjoy the day that I am living, while being a blessing to those around me.  But, if I am honest with you, I would admit that so often I find myself starting Monday morning, wishing for Friday afternoon.

Tomorrow starts my tenth week of internship, and even though I am truly enjoying it, I find myself ready for it to be over. Those of you that know me well know how much of a planner I am. Until this internship is over, I feel like our life is in limbo. I have no idea what school doors I will be walking through in August. I know that He will direct my path, and as much comfort as I find in that, some days I find myself an anxious mess about the future. I feel like this internship season has been a dry season for me. My soul has felt so dry and weary.  I have been praying for fresh oil from Heaven to refresh me.

I don’t know if any of you are feeling this way about a season in your life. But, if you are, let me encourage you with a revelation that the Lord gave me tonight. He is using this season to prepare you for greater.

Tonight while listening to my favorite Pandora station (not that I don’t enjoy the wrestling show that my husband watches on Sunday night .. ) a song titled Greater is Coming came on. The intro of the song talks about the process that the olive goes through for its oil to be able to flow.  The process has three steps - 1. Shaking, 2. Beating, and 3. Pressing.  Anyone else felt shaken, beaten or pressed lately? I know I have.

But, you know what, if it wasn’t for the shaking – I wouldn’t be ready for the making. And if it wasn’t for the beating – I wouldn’t know the level of anointing that He has placed on my life. And lastly, if it wasn’t for the pressing – I would not be able to walk into my destiny. He has been preparing me for greater!  He has been preparing YOU for greater!  Every test, every trial, every sleepless night, and every tear that has run down your cheek has been doing nothing but preparing for you greater.

So tomorrow, I am going to look at the shaking, beating and pressing that weekdays can bring differently. I am changing my point of view of this season in my life, because He is using this time to prepare me for greater. 

So, Monday morning, you better watch out, because I know that our greater is coming! Thank you, Father, that Your greater is coming!

Blessings,
Hannah

Don't Surrender, Press On.

"And I run  [press on] toward the goal to take the victory of the calling of God from on high .. " - Phil. 3:14

Hargo Hill. I feel like those two words should be followed by a *dun dun dun* .. can I get an amen, fellow exercisers? I often credit that long, steep incline between the jail and the start of “Main Street” with making me a runner. It’s a tough distance up, and usually right before I get to the top, my body feels done – thankfully, this is where my brain kicks in. Well, usually.  

Tonight I went out for a run, and I ran so joyfully until I found myself at the base of the dreaded hill. I didn’t feel like climbing that hill, because tonight, what I knew was just a hill looked like a mountain to me. So, tonight, I turned around deciding that I would just skip it and begin my journey back home. Through my head ran many excuses – I’m tired, it’s cold, Drew is probably hungry, my left pinky toe is sore, a piece of hair is touching my neck. Yes, I know, some of those are pathetic, but I am just being real.

As soon as I began to shuffle my feet around to turn back a Building 429 song titled Press On began to stream through my ear buds (actually my husband’s ear buds because sharing earwax is a true marriage builder). The first few words of the song pierced my heart – “Sometimes this world starts breaking me down” – and immediately the tears began to flow. Some of you may know, but around the time I started my (unpaid) internship, Drew was let go from his job. It was definitely a curve ball that we were not expecting. We are truly okay, and God’s faithfulness through these past few months has been nothing short of amazing, but still, some days, I feel like the world is breaking me down.

The lyrics that came next were exactly how my heart felt about conquering the hill tonight  -  “And there are moments of fear and doubt, even the best fall to the ground.” I doubted myself. I doubted my body’s ability to get myself up the hill. I was fearful of what would happen if my brain couldn’t convinced my legs to keep moving. So, I decided that I would just surrender. But I didn’t need to surrender. I needed to press on.

So, I did. Not only did I run the hill once, but I circled back to run it again. I pressed on. Proving to myself that my body could carry me up that mountain-feeling hill wasn’t the reason I ran it twice. I ran it twice to prove to myself that I needed to press on. No matter what life throws at me, I need to press on.

Dear friend, I don’t know what may be going on in your life. Nor do I know what hills that you are facing that might feel more like mountains to you. What I do know is that you can make it. YOU CAN PRESS ON! Because, at the end of the day, as we are trekking up the mountains that life can put in our path, we’ve got to remember that His promises (our prize) are on the other side, and as long as we are going with Him, it doesn’t really matter where we are going – we just have to keep going.

 

 

 

Blessings,

Hannah

On Days When Your Calling Doesn't Feel Easy.

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - C.S. Lewis

As I think about great people in the Bible, and their callings, I often only think of their success, not their struggles. My friend Ana and I watched the movie Evan Almighty last weekend. The movie is loosely based on the story of Noah. Noah's calling was to build the ark. When I think of Noah's calling, a storybook picture of Noah on the ark with his family and a rainbow in the distance is what comes to mind. But there is so much more to Noah's calling than that. What doesn't come to my mind that likely happened could have been things like people telling Noah he was crazy, or perhaps he hit his finger with a hammer a few times, maybe Noah even doubted his calling. I can assure you that whatever Noah went through during the process of fulfilling his calling, it wasn't easy.

Mary's calling is another that comes to mind. I am sure that many of us probably picture her calling as a tender-moment in a stable, with an angel above the manger that held her precious son. But again, how far that is from the complete truth. Mary not only became pregnant before marriage, but she also carried a child that was not her husbands, and then to top it all off, she gave birth in a barn. I wonder if in the laboring moments of childbirth Mary questioned her calling.

Being a school counselor is much more than a job to me - it's a calling. When I started my M.Ed. program in school counseling, I only thought of the glamorous moments of my calling. You know, the happy moments on graduation day, or the times when I would help a student overcome something that they are struggling against. I didn't picture the other side - the times when I would see the words "I'm sorry" cut into a young ladies arm because she doesn't know how to deal with the pain she feels, or the times when I would beg a young man to not drop out of high school because he has so much more potential than he realizes.

Some days, and I am sure that many of you can relate to this, my calling feels heavy. As a matter of fact, today it feels very heavy. You know what though, today I have realized that I am carrying my load the wrong way. I am carrying far to much of it on my shoulders, and not offering enough of it over to Him. I am carrying the burdens of the students that I am called to help, but feel like I don't have the strength, because I am not supposed to do it in my strength. I am called to do it in His strength.

Philippians 4:13 is a familiar passage to us all. I actually think it was one of the first verses that I memorized as a child. Today is means more to me than it has my entire life, those 11 words have reminded me of something so very important. I am called (and the calling isn't always easy), but I am never forsaken, because I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

If you feel weary with your calling today, allow yourself to take a load off and rely on His strength. That is exactly what I am doing, and I am so thankful that His strength is perfect, when my strength is gone.

Blessings, 

Hannah

Overcoming Church Hurt.

I’m a pastor’s kid. I’m sure that the majority of my readers know that. I have literally grown-up in the church. Through the years, I have seen so many people loved and accepted by the church. I have heard so many testimonies of people who have found forgiveness, healing, love and acceptance in the four walls of the church – I am sure that we have all. But, what I’ve begun to hear more of lately is the people who have found quite the opposite of love and acceptance in the church. Instead, they sadly found things like hurt, jealously, backstabbing, and lies. Church hurt is so hard for many of us to understand, because it seems so silly to think that people are being hurt in the place that they come to find love in acceptance. But, unfortunately, folks, so many people around us have experience/are experiencing church hurt. Church hurt does not only drive wedges between us and other believers, but also between us and God.

This post is for the person who has been hurt by the church. For the ones who have a sour taste in their mouth about church as a result of bad experiences they had in the church. I’ve experienced church hurt. And I am so thankful to say, that I have overcome church hurt. If you allow Jesus to heal your heart, you can overcome church hurt too.

So, you’ve been hurt by the church, and you are ready to overcome it – where do you go from here?

Lay it down. The first place you need to go after experiencing church hurt is to the cross. Lay your hurt at the feet of Jesus. He loves you. He doesn’t want you to be hurt, but He can’t heal your heart until you give it to Him.  

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

“Casting the whole sum of your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Pray.  I know that it is a hard pill to swallow, but you need to pray for the person/people who hurt you. I know, believe me, I know how hard that is sometimes.  But, we must do it, because the Bible clearly tells commands us to.

                “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:44   

Don’t retaliate. It is a human instinct to say something to the extent of, “I’ll get him back” after experiencing hurt. We want to react in the flesh, but that is not what we need to do.  The Lord will fight for you – He’s got your back!

                “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Exodus 14:14

Forgive. Forgiveness can be so tricky, and one of the most difficult things to do, so I want to remind you of a few things about forgiveness. Forgiving someone does not mean that what they did was okay. If they hurt you, that is not okay at all. What you have to realize though, is that when unforgiveness grows in your heart for long enough, it creates bitterness. Please, please, please don’t allow bitterness in. Forgive the person who caused your church hurt, not because what they did wasn’t wrong, but because you don’t want it to destroy your heart. Remember that Jesus Christ has forgiven the inexcusable in you, so why should you deny forgiveness to someone else? I know it is hard, but do it, you will not regret it.

“Bearing with one another, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.”  Colossians 3:13

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Reconnect. Do not turn against church completely. I know that is what seems like the logical thing to do after experiencing church hurt, but that this exactly what the enemy wants you to do. The enemy’s goal is to bring division, do not allow him the victory through your church hurt.

“And about all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:14

To the hurting, I am so sorry. I know how badly church hurt can be. Please forgive. Let Jesus love you. So often, as humans, we fall short, and I am sorry that your heart was hurt through the short comings of others, but today lay it at His feet. I promise you, forgiveness can change your life. Look at how your life has already been changed by His forgiveness, and imagine what peace you’ll find in forgiving others.  It is a wonderful feeling to have the burden of unforgiveness lifted off you.

Blessings,

Hannah