To Choose Blindness or Love?

Tonight (this morning?) my heart is heavy. I don’t know that I have the exact words to tell you why. Honestly, I am not even completely sure why. But it is.

About a month ago, Drew and I watched a movie titled The Good Lie. It told the story of Sudanese children who were orphaned as a result of war, and their journey to find a better life. I wept during this movie. My heart was broken over what these children had to endure. But, the next day, I went back to normal life. My heart still feeling heavy, but the orphaned children of Africa feeling so far away.

A few weeks ago, Drew and I went to see the Watoto Children’s Choir from Uganda perform in Beaufort.  The children put on a great show, and I am glad we went. I am thankful, not only because I enjoyed the show, but because of the conversation it sparked in the car on our way back home. I am so blessed to have a husband who may not completely understand my heart, but supports my desire to show His heart. But, yet again, a few days later, the heaviness that I felt for these children was swept to the side for the busyness of my own daily routine.

A few nights after we saw the children’s choir, a documentary came on ETV about child slavery. The first segment was about Haiti. If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I have a heart for missions, and that God has given me a passion for missions. That passion started in Haiti. I sat on the couch, in our nice brick home and felt a tear hit my cheek for the children of Haiti. For the restaveks – child slaves – of Haiti.  I was feeling yet another familiar urge to find a way to help, but again, the urge faded away as it was lost in the shuffle of life.

Last Friday Pulse Dance Company from Claflin University did a show at CCHS. It was wonderful! The first part of the show was a tribute to African-American dance inspirations, and for the second part of the show, they did a few dance scenes from The Lion King (yes, Drew, I contained myself). The third song they danced to was Glory by John Legend. I hadn’t heard the song before, but many of the students recognized it from a movie, Selma, that was recently released (a few weeks prior they went on a fieldtrip to see the film).

 As the song began to play, I was surprised by the thought that entered my mind. This thought is the reason for this blog, and to be honest, at this moment I am typing this sentence to delay telling you about it. I don’t think I am ashamed of it. I don’t know, maybe I am. What popped into my mind as the dancers began to gracefully move around the stage to the moving lyrics was, “I chose not to go see that. I can’t take it.” I chose to not go see the movie Selma. Not because the life of Dr. Martin Luther King isn’t important to me, because it is in so many ways, but because I chose to be blind to the reality. To the reality of the pain that so many African-Americans had to face.  I couldn’t stand the idea of sitting in a theatre and watching a story about the REAL LIFE hurt of others. I chose to not go see it. I CHOSE TO BE BLIND.

 I hate to see hurting people (I often fast-forward any sad segment of even fictional movies), but what I need to realize is that hurt doesn’t go away if we close our eyes. It may go away to us, it may no longer be a part of our reality, but it does not go away. Each day we all choose to be blind. Out of sight, out of mind – right? The starving children of Africa, the child slaves of Haiti, the hungry children in our own county, and so much more may not be in our daily line of sight but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t there.

Until we CHOOSE to open up our eyes, until we CHOOSE to see, we can never truly make a difference. If my eyes continue to stay shut, even if they open for a moment and then close again, I cannot do what I was put on this earth to do. I can’t show Him before allowing Him to show things to me. I have to choose to see. No matter how much my heart hurts, and no matter how overwhelmed by the brokenness of the world I feel, if I never choose to see I can never show His love.

I don’t know yet how I am going to make a difference, or how I am going to show the love of Jesus to the hurting world around me. But, I have taken the first step in allowing Him to use me. I am choosing love over blindness. I am choosing to see. I encourage you to choose the same.

Blessings,
Hannah

“I’ve been silent instead of speaking out,

Gave my advice instead of speaking love,

I have been unfair, faithless and unkind,

I have shut my eyes, just so I could stay blind,

It’s not what I meant to do,

‘Cause I want to honor You.”

 

- Make Me Over, Natalie Grant