Dear 2014.

Dear 2014,

Wow. What a year you’ve been. You’ve literally shown me the worst of times, and the most joyous of times. I’ve learned this year what it means to mourn the loss of losing people who you once loved, and the overwhelming feeling of thankfulness that comes with sealing a life-long promise with someone who will love you forever. You’ve taught me the importance of community, and why it is critical to only surround yourself with people who will bring out the best in you. Thanks to you, I’ve realized that the people of influence in my life need to be the ones who see the best in me (even when I don’t see it in myself). I’ve also watched two of my favorite people go to battle with the ugly, ugly thing called cancer. Cancer never truly wins though, because love is bigger.

There are many things I’ll take away from you and many things I’ll gladly leave behind. I’m leaving behind unforgiveness and bitterness. 2014, I’ve learned something as you’ve come to a close, and that is (get ready for a harsh reality, readers) that God love my enemies. I know, gasp, the preacher’s daughter has only *just now* come to this reality. I know, I know, what can I say? I’m a slow learner sometimes. So, to the things and people who have caused me pain in 2014, I forgive you. Not because I am madly in love with you and not because I want to be your best bud (sorry, so not there yet, folks) but simply because Jesus loves you. He has forgiven the absolute worst in me, so why should I not forgive it in you? Heck, you may not even think that you need my forgiveness, but I am not forgiving you (or leaving this hurt behind for you) I’m doing it for me. Selfish? Maybe, so forgive me if you think it is. The truth is though, forgiveness doesn’t excuse your behavior, but it does keep your behavior from destroying my heart.  

 2014, I’m taking away from you more discoveries of my purpose. Thank you for being the year that brought a wonderful man into my life to not only propose to me at our favorite spot, but to also take my hand in marriage in a city that I love (why doesn't everyone love Walterboro?!). I find great purpose in being his wife. Loving Drew is truly one of my greatest joys. I also was able to get a taste of the life of a school counselor. Wow. What an experience. As I think of the many stories that I could tell from the 102 hours I spent at Colleton County Middle, both a smile forms across my face and a tear starts to develop in my eye. I don’t take for granted the position of influence that I was honored to have in the lives of students that grew to mean so much to me.

I guess in closing, 2014, my life right now seems like it is at a major transition point and who knows what I’ll have to share at this time next year, but my prayer for 2015 is rather simple and stems off of a Sidewalk Prophets song. I am not very close to the person I need to be. I was created for more. I wasn’t created to be weighed down by the bitterness, unforgiveness and anxieties that this life can bring. As this year comes to a close, I am leaving all of those things at the cross  (and I encourage my readers to do the same). I was created to be like Jesus Christ. So, 2014, the Lord still has some “making” to do within me, but I’m well on my way of being a true reflection of Him.

                It’s been fun (well, mostly :P).

Blessings,

Hannah

 

Keep Making Me

Make me broken

So I can be healed

Cause I'm so calloused

And now I cant feel

I want to run to You

With heart wide open

Make me broken

 

Make empty

So I can be filled

Cause I'm still holding

Onto my will

And I'm completed

When You are with me

Make me empty

 

Til You are my one desire

Til You are my one true love

Til You are my breath, my everything

Lord, please keep making me

 

Make me lonely

So I can be Yours

Til I want no one

More than You, Lord

Cause in the darkness

I know You will hold me

Make me lonely