I Will Carry You.

Today I read a book titled I Will Carry You by Angie Smith. The book tells the story of her daughter Audrey Caroline , who she and her family were blessed to spend a few hours went before Audrey went to be with Jesus. During pregnancy Angie’s doctor discovered during an ultrasound that Audrey had problems that were “not compatible with life.” Even though Audrey wasn’t expected to live, the Smith’s chose to not terminate the pregnancy and pray for God to intervene. This book was an amazing story of the journey that faith and hope together can take us on.

In I Will Carry You, Angie referred to the story of Mary washing Jesus’ feet. I am going to quote what she says, because it is so moving. Just for background, this was the Mary who was the sister to Martha and Lazarus.

“Everyone was gathered around the Lord when Mary shattered a bottle of perfume and wiped the lavish scent across His feet with her hair. The scent was to be used in a society where bathing was not frequent, so this particular nard was extremely pungent. A few drops would have been more than enough but without regard to cost (Angie later tells how the bottle was worth about $30,000 dollars) or what those around here might think, she simply poured it all out as an act of pure worship. Many have speculated that Mary was preparing her beloved Savior for His death and burial, but our pastor went to explain that the scent of the perfume surely would have been on His skin a few days later when he was beaten and crucified. So, in essence, every time a Roman soldier’s whip hit Him, the scent of Mary’s worship was released and rose all around Him; a reminder of Who He was. I don’t believe her action was simply a reflection of her gratitude over the life of Lazarus because the setting and the way the events unfold communicate an inherent heaviness as she pours the perfume. It doesn’t feel totally celebratory to me. It feel like letting go. Regardless of whether or not He had saved her brother, she would have worshipped Him. She loved Him because of Who He was to her, not what He had done for her.”

As I read this I began to cry. How many times have we felt as though He has let us down? How often have we questioned His plan and refused to surrender to His will? Even in those times were we willing to worship Him? To give Him what we have of worth - our lives, our talents, our dreams .. . I also reflected upon times when life has “beaten me.” The smell of Mary’s worship, of her full surrender, was the aroma that arose as Jesus was being beaten and crucified. Did the aroma of worship and surrender escape from my “life wounds” or was there a smell of bitterness and hurt?

While reading this book, I was reminded of a song that ministered to me during what I would call of one of "life's beatings.” The title of it is He Will Carry Me by Mark Shultz. The chorus goes "Even though I’m walking through the valley of the shadow. I will hold tight to the hand of Him, whose love will comfort me. When all hope is gone, and I’ve been wounded in the battle. He is all the strength that I will ever need. He will carry me.” No matter what, He is there to carry you. As you go through the many battles that life can bring, let the fragrance that results from your “wounds” be an aroma of worship and surrender. When others “beat” you, don’t let them smell bitterness or hatred. Instead, let them smell the sweet fragrance of your Jesus. Let the aroma of surrender and worship, of His presence, flow from you. Trust that He is there to carry You. I promise you, He truly is all of the strength you will need and He will always be there to carry you.


Blessings,
Han