-

Leave Memory Lane - He is Doing a New Thing.

A few nights ago, I saw a picture on Facebook of two people that I loved dearly.
If I am honest with you, I still do love them, but I had to allow God to heal my heart. It took myself all of a second to take a stroll down memory lane, and "remember when."  My heart hurt because of what has been lost, but it was also thankful because even though we fail, His love and His plans never do. As chance would have it, that same picture popped up in my newsfeed tonight. My heart, yet again, began to feel overwhelmed. In that exact moment, the Holy Spirit gently whispered to my soul - "I am doing a new thing."
I hate change. Seriously. I never, ever want to upgrade my Microsoft software (just ask my Dad) because I like being comfortable. What the Lord is teaching me though is that sometimes in order for Him to move I have to be uncomfortable. I have to be moved from the place of comfort to a place of trust. From a place of knowing (read: creating) the plan to a place of trusting solely in His plan.
Isaiah 43:18 came to my heart tonight. "But forget all of that - it is nothing compared to what I'm going to do. For I am about to do a brand new thing. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come home. I will create rivers for them in the desert!"
Some days I feel like I am in a dry place. No matter how much I pray, read or listen to worship music - my soul feels dry. I have been crying out to God to refresh me. To submerge me in His river of new life. I now know that the secret of being refreshed is letting go of the old, and CELEBRATING in the new that is coming.
As a new school year begins in many districts tomorrow, I encourage you to celebrate this new year. Our school district's  theme for this year is new beginnings, and I don't think that it is coincidence that the Lord laid the scripture on my heart tonight. Wake up tomorrow excited about the new things that He is doing. I know I am!

Blessings,
Hannah

A Letter to My Future Daughter.

My darling,

Tonight while I was in the kitchen prepping supper, something on the TV caught my attention.  Jason Derulo was preforming on American Idol, but that wasn’t what caught me off guard. What made me have to look twice were the women that he had on stage with him. I stared awkwardly at the television set almost the entire song, my heart feeling so strange about what I was seeing, but yet I couldn’t force myself to look away. It wasn’t so much watching the performance as I was thinking of you. You don’t even exist yet, so maybe it is silly that you are what came to my mind. But you did.

These ladies preforming were by many people’s definition beautiful. However, I think they were going about showing their beauty in the wrong way. Quite honestly, sweetheart, they had on an outfit that I would only want you to wear in front of your husband. And they were dancing in ways that you better not even consider trying out at your senior prom.

Sometimes I worry what the standard of “beauty” will be while you are growing up. I fear that our culture is shifting further away by the day from what beauty really is. Because, baby girl, beauty isn’t dancing provocatively in lingerie on stage for the world to see or flaunting your physical self in any way just to get the attention of others.

Beauty is so much more than all of that. Beauty is so much more than the reflection you see when you pass by a mirror. I know you will hear these words a million times while you are growing up, but that is only because I want to make sure that these words take deep root in your heart – beauty is not what you look like, beauty is who you are.

 Beauty is the way you feel in your heart about who you are. Beauty is how you help someone who is struggling. Beauty is being true to yourself, even when the rest of the world is telling you to go with “their” flow. Beauty is knowing who you are, and being confident in the direction that your dreams take you – especially on the days when you want to throw in the towel. Beauty is being a true, genuine friend. Beauty is always giving 100%, and never settling for less than your best. Beauty, my dear, is so much more than what the world will tell you that it is.

That is why I want you to know the most important definition of beauty. I want you to know what Jesus has to say about beauty. And on days when you don’t feel like you “line up” with the definition that the world is giving you of beauty, I want you to line yourself up with His definition of beauty. Because, after all, what He says about you is more important than what anyone else will ever say about you.

“ What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in." - I Peter 3:3-4

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." - Proverbs 31:30

I love you, baby girl.

Five Lessons from Five Months of Marriage.

As of today, Drew and I have been married for five months. Time has surely flown by, but memories of our wedding day are still very fresh in mind. A special thank you to everyone who helped make October 26, 2014 the day of my dreams.

During the past five months, marriage has taught me many lessons, but today I am just going to share with you the five that are most important to me.

1.       Live on Compromise Street. I cannot even begin to express how important compromise has proved to be in our marriage. A few weeks ago, the topic of Halloween costumes came up, and well, Drew and I were not exactly on the same page. Instead of both of us not relenting on what we wanted to do, we compromised. He gave a little, I gave a little and eventually we both were very satisfied with the final decision. Compromise has also come in very handy when deciding what to eat for supper. Because, of course, "whatever you want, babe" is cool until someone suggests pizza. ;)

2.       Show Grace, Never Guilt. I am not a perfect person. My husband is not a perfect person. We both make mistakes. I am known to “get in my feelings” on occasion. I am so thankful that in those moments Drew shows me grace. I can’t imagine any marriage surviving with two partners that didn’t show each other grace on a daily basis. Especially if one of those partners plays the bass guitar. For real, y’all.

3.       Gender Roles, Smender Roles. The strongest teams allow the players to do what they do best. So often we automatically assign roles in marriages based on gender. I assumed that my marriage would be no exception to that. But, the truth is, my husband is a much better cook than I am. I still do the majority of the cooking, but I am okay to admit that the meals he prepares are a bit higher on the flavor scale than things I cook. Another piece of truth that I am slightly ashamed of, I didn’t even own salt or pepper pre-Drew – much less the other twenty spices that now fill the cabinet above our stove.

4.       I Can Hear Clearer Now. Communication. Communication. Communication. I cannot say it enough! I thought for sure that mind reading was a ginger superpower, but folks, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it's not.  I’ve learned to say exactly what I feel/mean, and ask questions if I am not sure what Drew means. A funny real life scenario took place about a week before Valentine’s Day this year. Drew and I were just hanging out, and I mentioned to him that I wanted a wristlet as a Valentine’s Day gift. Well, I should have been more clear, because Drew thought that wristlet was just another word for bracelet. No, my dear, just no.

5.       Don’t Just Say Love, Do It. Loving someone is much, much more than just telling them that you love them. Don’t get me wrong telling them is so important, and I make a point to tell Drew several times a day how much I love him. What I’ve found means even more though is when he shows me that he loves me. It may be something simple like rubbing my tummy while we sit on the couch in the evenings, or taking my dirty plate to the kitchen for me, but those small acts truly make me feel loved. Love is such a huge thing, but it really is just all of the little things added together.

People are constantly asking us how married life is. The short answer is that it is wonderful. I love being married, and I am so thankful for the man that God blessed me with. Our first six months of marriage have been full of things that I expected, and also things that I did not. Like the other night, I was sitting on the floor in our living room clipping Drew’s toenails, and as I looked up at him I couldn’t contain my laughter. On our very first date, I never imagined clipping his toenails, but at that moment, I couldn’t think of any other place I would rather be on a Wednesday night. And if you’ve ever seen Drew’s toenails, you know that this must truly be a lifelong love.

Blessings,
Hannah

Monday Blues? Change Your Point of View – Because Greater is Coming!

I hope I am not the only one that feels this way, but sometimes I dread Monday morning. Tomorrow around 7 a.m., I’ll be starting a brand new week (well, after hitting the snooze button an annoying amount of times – sorry babe!). It all starts again. The cycle of “waiting for Friday” that so many of us get caught up in will be here in less than 10 hours.  I try to make a point to remind myself to be in the present - to enjoy the day that I am living, while being a blessing to those around me.  But, if I am honest with you, I would admit that so often I find myself starting Monday morning, wishing for Friday afternoon.

Tomorrow starts my tenth week of internship, and even though I am truly enjoying it, I find myself ready for it to be over. Those of you that know me well know how much of a planner I am. Until this internship is over, I feel like our life is in limbo. I have no idea what school doors I will be walking through in August. I know that He will direct my path, and as much comfort as I find in that, some days I find myself an anxious mess about the future. I feel like this internship season has been a dry season for me. My soul has felt so dry and weary.  I have been praying for fresh oil from Heaven to refresh me.

I don’t know if any of you are feeling this way about a season in your life. But, if you are, let me encourage you with a revelation that the Lord gave me tonight. He is using this season to prepare you for greater.

Tonight while listening to my favorite Pandora station (not that I don’t enjoy the wrestling show that my husband watches on Sunday night .. ) a song titled Greater is Coming came on. The intro of the song talks about the process that the olive goes through for its oil to be able to flow.  The process has three steps - 1. Shaking, 2. Beating, and 3. Pressing.  Anyone else felt shaken, beaten or pressed lately? I know I have.

But, you know what, if it wasn’t for the shaking – I wouldn’t be ready for the making. And if it wasn’t for the beating – I wouldn’t know the level of anointing that He has placed on my life. And lastly, if it wasn’t for the pressing – I would not be able to walk into my destiny. He has been preparing me for greater!  He has been preparing YOU for greater!  Every test, every trial, every sleepless night, and every tear that has run down your cheek has been doing nothing but preparing for you greater.

So tomorrow, I am going to look at the shaking, beating and pressing that weekdays can bring differently. I am changing my point of view of this season in my life, because He is using this time to prepare me for greater. 

So, Monday morning, you better watch out, because I know that our greater is coming! Thank you, Father, that Your greater is coming!

Blessings,
Hannah

Don't Surrender, Press On.

"And I run  [press on] toward the goal to take the victory of the calling of God from on high .. " - Phil. 3:14

Hargo Hill. I feel like those two words should be followed by a *dun dun dun* .. can I get an amen, fellow exercisers? I often credit that long, steep incline between the jail and the start of “Main Street” with making me a runner. It’s a tough distance up, and usually right before I get to the top, my body feels done – thankfully, this is where my brain kicks in. Well, usually.  

Tonight I went out for a run, and I ran so joyfully until I found myself at the base of the dreaded hill. I didn’t feel like climbing that hill, because tonight, what I knew was just a hill looked like a mountain to me. So, tonight, I turned around deciding that I would just skip it and begin my journey back home. Through my head ran many excuses – I’m tired, it’s cold, Drew is probably hungry, my left pinky toe is sore, a piece of hair is touching my neck. Yes, I know, some of those are pathetic, but I am just being real.

As soon as I began to shuffle my feet around to turn back a Building 429 song titled Press On began to stream through my ear buds (actually my husband’s ear buds because sharing earwax is a true marriage builder). The first few words of the song pierced my heart – “Sometimes this world starts breaking me down” – and immediately the tears began to flow. Some of you may know, but around the time I started my (unpaid) internship, Drew was let go from his job. It was definitely a curve ball that we were not expecting. We are truly okay, and God’s faithfulness through these past few months has been nothing short of amazing, but still, some days, I feel like the world is breaking me down.

The lyrics that came next were exactly how my heart felt about conquering the hill tonight  -  “And there are moments of fear and doubt, even the best fall to the ground.” I doubted myself. I doubted my body’s ability to get myself up the hill. I was fearful of what would happen if my brain couldn’t convinced my legs to keep moving. So, I decided that I would just surrender. But I didn’t need to surrender. I needed to press on.

So, I did. Not only did I run the hill once, but I circled back to run it again. I pressed on. Proving to myself that my body could carry me up that mountain-feeling hill wasn’t the reason I ran it twice. I ran it twice to prove to myself that I needed to press on. No matter what life throws at me, I need to press on.

Dear friend, I don’t know what may be going on in your life. Nor do I know what hills that you are facing that might feel more like mountains to you. What I do know is that you can make it. YOU CAN PRESS ON! Because, at the end of the day, as we are trekking up the mountains that life can put in our path, we’ve got to remember that His promises (our prize) are on the other side, and as long as we are going with Him, it doesn’t really matter where we are going – we just have to keep going.

 

 

 

Blessings,

Hannah

On Days When Your Calling Doesn't Feel Easy.

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - C.S. Lewis

As I think about great people in the Bible, and their callings, I often only think of their success, not their struggles. My friend Ana and I watched the movie Evan Almighty last weekend. The movie is loosely based on the story of Noah. Noah's calling was to build the ark. When I think of Noah's calling, a storybook picture of Noah on the ark with his family and a rainbow in the distance is what comes to mind. But there is so much more to Noah's calling than that. What doesn't come to my mind that likely happened could have been things like people telling Noah he was crazy, or perhaps he hit his finger with a hammer a few times, maybe Noah even doubted his calling. I can assure you that whatever Noah went through during the process of fulfilling his calling, it wasn't easy.

Mary's calling is another that comes to mind. I am sure that many of us probably picture her calling as a tender-moment in a stable, with an angel above the manger that held her precious son. But again, how far that is from the complete truth. Mary not only became pregnant before marriage, but she also carried a child that was not her husbands, and then to top it all off, she gave birth in a barn. I wonder if in the laboring moments of childbirth Mary questioned her calling.

Being a school counselor is much more than a job to me - it's a calling. When I started my M.Ed. program in school counseling, I only thought of the glamorous moments of my calling. You know, the happy moments on graduation day, or the times when I would help a student overcome something that they are struggling against. I didn't picture the other side - the times when I would see the words "I'm sorry" cut into a young ladies arm because she doesn't know how to deal with the pain she feels, or the times when I would beg a young man to not drop out of high school because he has so much more potential than he realizes.

Some days, and I am sure that many of you can relate to this, my calling feels heavy. As a matter of fact, today it feels very heavy. You know what though, today I have realized that I am carrying my load the wrong way. I am carrying far to much of it on my shoulders, and not offering enough of it over to Him. I am carrying the burdens of the students that I am called to help, but feel like I don't have the strength, because I am not supposed to do it in my strength. I am called to do it in His strength.

Philippians 4:13 is a familiar passage to us all. I actually think it was one of the first verses that I memorized as a child. Today is means more to me than it has my entire life, those 11 words have reminded me of something so very important. I am called (and the calling isn't always easy), but I am never forsaken, because I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

If you feel weary with your calling today, allow yourself to take a load off and rely on His strength. That is exactly what I am doing, and I am so thankful that His strength is perfect, when my strength is gone.

Blessings, 

Hannah