Hammys (like Grammys as in the award, not an old person!)

I'm assuming everyone has caught on to the fact that music speaks to me. I'm not a music junkie who has dreams of becoming a musician or anything like that, but I love music. I think that it is so powerful, and can reach so many people in so many ways. For the past few years I have picked a song that defines my year, and who I have become because of it. Past years have been songs like Bring The Rain by Mercy Me, Strongtower by Kutless .. you get the picture. I wasn't going to post about the song for this year but I am.

Without any further wait .. my song of the year is In The Waiting by Shannon Wexelburg.
Never heard it? I'm not surprised because I even found it by mistake!

I came across this song late on night on youtube.com because I was looking for youth band clips. The moment I started listening to the words I began to cry. This song defines how I feel in so many personal ways that if you know me well enough you will know. God is in the waiting because He is apart of every season in our lives. As a child in Sunday school I remember Ms. Nina saying that when we pray God either says "Yes.", "No." or "Wait." At times in life it is hard to remember that we are on God's time schedules, not our own .. and sometimes that means waiting. However, from what I hear all the good things in life are worth waiting on :).

Here is some linkage -- listen AND read.
Song -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwyvmu-asJI

Lyrics -
https://www.shannonwexelberg.com/files/ecommerce/album_19/In_the_Waiting_Lyric.pdf

--Han

In 2009 I ..

I hereby confess that in 2009 I...
(X)stayed single for the whole year
I am definitely okay admitting this, even though some people would never, ever, ever do it. :)
() made out in/on a car
() kissed in the snow
() celebrated Halloween
() kissed in the rain
() had your heart broken
() broke someone else's heart
(X) had a stalker
Crazy football man!
() went over the limit on your cell phone
(X) had a good relationship with someone
This could apply to a lot of people.
() someone questioned your sexual orientation
() gotten pregnant
() had an abortion
() thought you were pregnant
(X) had a relationship with someone you'll never forget
Those were some of the best nights.
(X) done something you've regretted
I usually don't regret things, but there is one this from this year .. and compared to some other things I have done most people wouldn't think I should regret this -- but I do.
() lost faith in love
() kissed under a mistletoe
() got straight A's
() met one teacher you really hated
() failed a class
(X) skipped school
A perk of college.
(X) did something you were proud of
License!
(X) discovered a new talent
Scrapbooking.
() proved yourself an idiot
(X) embarrassed yourself in front of the class
Thanks to Rahman .. .
() fell in love with a teacher
() intentionally tripped someone at school
(X) were involved in something you'll never forget
Haf-to have been.
() painted a picture
() wrote a poem
(X) ran a mile
Gotta love the daily mind clearing jog.
() shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(X) posted a blog
Which is what I am doing now.
(X) listened to music you couldn't stand
Depressive stuff, bleh.
(X) went to a sleepover
The night of my 18th with David and Angela.
() went camping
(X) threw a surprise party
Well, a surprise wedding shower!
(X) laughed till you cried
This might have had something to do with ALTOID! Bwahaha.
() laughed till you peed in your pants
() visited a foreign country
() cut in a line of waiting people
(X) told someone you were busy when you weren't
Sadly, quite a bit.
(X) cooked a disastrous meal
Oh, yes .. more than one.
(X) lost something/ someone important to you
(X) broke a promise
Who didn't?
(X) lied
Once again, who didn't?
(X) went behind your parents back
(X) cried over a broken heart
(X) disappointed someone close
(X) hid a secret
(X) pretended to be happy
() slept under the stars
() kept your new years resolution
() forgot your new years resolution
(X) met someone who changed your life
Mrs. Sheila :).
() met one of your idols
(X) changed your outlook on life
Oh yes, yes, yes.
(X) sat home all day doing nothing
Those are my favorite days.
() pretended to be sick
() left the country
() almost died.
(X) given up something important to you
Sadly.
() lost something expensive
(X) learned something new about yourself
Definitely more than one thing.
(X) tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
(X) made a change in your life
() found out who your true friends were
(X) met great people
() stayed up til sunrise
(X) cried over the silliest thing
() was never home on a weekend
() got into a car/bus accident
(X) had friends who were drifting away from you
There is a reason that some people in your past don't make it to your future.
() had a high cell phone bill
(X) spent most of your money on food
I love me some Bi-Lo. :)
() had a fist fight
(X) went to the beach with your best friend
If Mom counts .. .
() saw a celebrity
(X) gotten sick
Just a few times this year, actually.
() liked more than 5 people at the same time
(X) became closer with a lot of people

Ok, so I thought this would be a fun way to sum up the year.
I hope everyone had a great New Years!

--Han

I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead.

With the new year coming up, many people make these resolutions to do certain things for the new year. Most of the time they are the generic lose weight, quit smoking, read the Bible in a year thing .. you know. I have never gotten into the whole idea of making resolutions for a new year, but this year I am making three – but I am calling them goals. I am a very goal oriented person and I love the thrill I get from achieving a goal. Hopefully this time next year, I will be beginning to feel that thrill.
Two of them I will write about on here, one is far too personal and I am not sure who I will share it with. I guess I will talk about one of them tonight, and then I will talk about one closer to the start of 2010. This year I am going forward and I refuse to go back - because the past (my past and your past) is OVER. I am not going back, I am moving ahead, seriously guys. I am so sick of the past constantly sucking people back in. Tomorrow is a new year, and 2010 is a new year. I have 365 days to let go of things in my life that have restricted me.
Sometimes life is nothing but a treadmill, you keep going over the same place over and over and over .. . In life we tend to make ourselves go back through situations over and over and over in our minds and we allow those situations to control us (and our destinies). Well, I refuse to allow my life to be like a treadmill anymore.
Because God makes ALL things new, and I WILL follow Him forward!

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 3:12-14

Blessings.
--Han

Sometimes you gotta just -- l e t i t g o.

Only some things in life make sense. Although what really matters is not the point that we don’t understand them but the point that eventually the things we don’t understand wont matter anymore.
Most things are only temporary but yet we act like the change will never come. We are born to die. We go to school to graduate. Everything in life has two sides to it. The first doesn’t matter, neither does the middle. Its not how you start but how you finish. Everyone begins life innocent but somewhere along the line everyone screws up .. but its how we end life that really matters.
Its how we learn from our previous mistakes that makes us stronger. Living in the past doesn’t work. You have to move on and learn from whatever mistake you made. Regret and guilt are a lot alike. They both leave a very bad feeling in your gut. Letting go is hard, but it has to be done. You cant live life hating yourself because of what you did (or didn't do) 10 years ago, last month or even yesterday. In life everyday is a new day.
Yes, some stuff may follow us, but we get to choose how to handle it again. Everyday is truly a gift from God, so why should we ruin it because of all the crap that happened yesterday? We shouldn't and even though letting go is much easier said than done we all have to do it at some point in life. Life is always changing and in order to live life to the fullest you have to learn to change with by letting some stuff go.

-- Han

Who is that girl I see … ?!

Have you ever sat down, looked in the mirror and stared straight into your eyes?
As I was putting on eyeliner the other week at my make-up mirror (Long story short about my make-up mirror is that it was my Granny’s and I actually remember her using it!) I started to look into my eyes. While I was doing this the song that Brandon Heath has become popular for “Give Me Your Eyes” started playing in my head and, of course, I began to sing along.

Then I stopped, and I looked deep into my own eyes. I will be honest; it was more of an intense moment than I thought it would be. I spent a good bit of time just sitting there, looking into my eyes.

Who have I become? Is it the person that I am a person that I thought I would be now five years ago? Is it a person that God is pleased with?
Every word we speak or action we do shapes who we are today which ultimately shapes who we will become years from now.

So, the next time you or I go to speak that word or do that action that we know we shouldn't we need to think about those days when we will be putting on our eye liner and have to look into our eyes. Or maybe more importantly, the day that Jesus will look into our eyes face-to-face.

-- Han

Baby, its C-O-L-D outside!

I hope you all had a great Christmas! Mine was different, but amazing. Holidays make me thankful for the people I call family .. well, most of the time. :) I haven't written here for the past week or so because I have been super busy .. but I do have things to copy and paste!

In other news tonight, its freezing which makes me think of my favorite Christmas song .. that I never sang this year. Ah, oh well. Only 362 days until I get the chance again.

Hope you enjoy the massive amounts of blogs that I am about to publish.

-- Han


Oh, and by the way. I have come to the conclusion that I like the font better in 'large' than 'normal' .. hopefully nobody cares about the huge words. :)

You Raise Me Up

For some unknown reason, the song “You Raise Me Up” is stuck in my mind tonight. I attempted to sing this song once, which I am pretty sure, was a complete failure. Lol, besides that I just think that this is a beautiful song. I really like any type of Celtic music actually which is rather embarrassing now that I think about it. Oh well, at least I am well rounded! Haha.
My favorite part of it goes something like this “I am strong when I am on Your shoulders .. You raise me up to me than I can be.” As a child I have very vivid memories of being on my Papa’s shoulders. I remember towering over everyone else because his six feet and my three made nine, which was usually taller than anyone else that would have been around. In those moments I felt like I could see the whole entire world. Fast – forward ten years and quite a few pounds my Papa can’t exactly put me on his shoulders anymore, and the only way I know how to explain the sensation would be like being in an airplane that is about to land. When you are coming in on a landing strip from being on a plane you can see miles of houses. It really is like seeing the big picture of a place, which is amazingly cool.
This makes me think about a verse in Isaiah, which says something to the extent of “They that wait upon the Lord, He shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and now faint.” Not only was being on my Papa’s shoulders a amazing view, but it was also a time for rest. However, even at eighteen (and I’m sure even older as I age) I still need a break sometimes. What I have to do now though is lift my hands to Heaven and ask my Heavenly Father to pick me up for a little bit, because I know from His point of view He can see the magnificent ending that my crazy life journey is going to have - even when I don’t understand what He is doing.
I guess my point in all of this is just to tell you that if you ever feel like you need a break, just ask Jesus to pick you up for a little while. Take a load off and just relax in His presence. It is amazing. Seriously amazing.

-Han