I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead.

With the new year coming up, many people make these resolutions to do certain things for the new year. Most of the time they are the generic lose weight, quit smoking, read the Bible in a year thing .. you know. I have never gotten into the whole idea of making resolutions for a new year, but this year I am making three – but I am calling them goals. I am a very goal oriented person and I love the thrill I get from achieving a goal. Hopefully this time next year, I will be beginning to feel that thrill.
Two of them I will write about on here, one is far too personal and I am not sure who I will share it with. I guess I will talk about one of them tonight, and then I will talk about one closer to the start of 2010. This year I am going forward and I refuse to go back - because the past (my past and your past) is OVER. I am not going back, I am moving ahead, seriously guys. I am so sick of the past constantly sucking people back in. Tomorrow is a new year, and 2010 is a new year. I have 365 days to let go of things in my life that have restricted me.
Sometimes life is nothing but a treadmill, you keep going over the same place over and over and over .. . In life we tend to make ourselves go back through situations over and over and over in our minds and we allow those situations to control us (and our destinies). Well, I refuse to allow my life to be like a treadmill anymore.
Because God makes ALL things new, and I WILL follow Him forward!

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 3:12-14

Blessings.
--Han

Sometimes you gotta just -- l e t i t g o.

Only some things in life make sense. Although what really matters is not the point that we don’t understand them but the point that eventually the things we don’t understand wont matter anymore.
Most things are only temporary but yet we act like the change will never come. We are born to die. We go to school to graduate. Everything in life has two sides to it. The first doesn’t matter, neither does the middle. Its not how you start but how you finish. Everyone begins life innocent but somewhere along the line everyone screws up .. but its how we end life that really matters.
Its how we learn from our previous mistakes that makes us stronger. Living in the past doesn’t work. You have to move on and learn from whatever mistake you made. Regret and guilt are a lot alike. They both leave a very bad feeling in your gut. Letting go is hard, but it has to be done. You cant live life hating yourself because of what you did (or didn't do) 10 years ago, last month or even yesterday. In life everyday is a new day.
Yes, some stuff may follow us, but we get to choose how to handle it again. Everyday is truly a gift from God, so why should we ruin it because of all the crap that happened yesterday? We shouldn't and even though letting go is much easier said than done we all have to do it at some point in life. Life is always changing and in order to live life to the fullest you have to learn to change with by letting some stuff go.

-- Han

Who is that girl I see … ?!

Have you ever sat down, looked in the mirror and stared straight into your eyes?
As I was putting on eyeliner the other week at my make-up mirror (Long story short about my make-up mirror is that it was my Granny’s and I actually remember her using it!) I started to look into my eyes. While I was doing this the song that Brandon Heath has become popular for “Give Me Your Eyes” started playing in my head and, of course, I began to sing along.

Then I stopped, and I looked deep into my own eyes. I will be honest; it was more of an intense moment than I thought it would be. I spent a good bit of time just sitting there, looking into my eyes.

Who have I become? Is it the person that I am a person that I thought I would be now five years ago? Is it a person that God is pleased with?
Every word we speak or action we do shapes who we are today which ultimately shapes who we will become years from now.

So, the next time you or I go to speak that word or do that action that we know we shouldn't we need to think about those days when we will be putting on our eye liner and have to look into our eyes. Or maybe more importantly, the day that Jesus will look into our eyes face-to-face.

-- Han

Baby, its C-O-L-D outside!

I hope you all had a great Christmas! Mine was different, but amazing. Holidays make me thankful for the people I call family .. well, most of the time. :) I haven't written here for the past week or so because I have been super busy .. but I do have things to copy and paste!

In other news tonight, its freezing which makes me think of my favorite Christmas song .. that I never sang this year. Ah, oh well. Only 362 days until I get the chance again.

Hope you enjoy the massive amounts of blogs that I am about to publish.

-- Han


Oh, and by the way. I have come to the conclusion that I like the font better in 'large' than 'normal' .. hopefully nobody cares about the huge words. :)

You Raise Me Up

For some unknown reason, the song “You Raise Me Up” is stuck in my mind tonight. I attempted to sing this song once, which I am pretty sure, was a complete failure. Lol, besides that I just think that this is a beautiful song. I really like any type of Celtic music actually which is rather embarrassing now that I think about it. Oh well, at least I am well rounded! Haha.
My favorite part of it goes something like this “I am strong when I am on Your shoulders .. You raise me up to me than I can be.” As a child I have very vivid memories of being on my Papa’s shoulders. I remember towering over everyone else because his six feet and my three made nine, which was usually taller than anyone else that would have been around. In those moments I felt like I could see the whole entire world. Fast – forward ten years and quite a few pounds my Papa can’t exactly put me on his shoulders anymore, and the only way I know how to explain the sensation would be like being in an airplane that is about to land. When you are coming in on a landing strip from being on a plane you can see miles of houses. It really is like seeing the big picture of a place, which is amazingly cool.
This makes me think about a verse in Isaiah, which says something to the extent of “They that wait upon the Lord, He shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and now faint.” Not only was being on my Papa’s shoulders a amazing view, but it was also a time for rest. However, even at eighteen (and I’m sure even older as I age) I still need a break sometimes. What I have to do now though is lift my hands to Heaven and ask my Heavenly Father to pick me up for a little bit, because I know from His point of view He can see the magnificent ending that my crazy life journey is going to have - even when I don’t understand what He is doing.
I guess my point in all of this is just to tell you that if you ever feel like you need a break, just ask Jesus to pick you up for a little while. Take a load off and just relax in His presence. It is amazing. Seriously amazing.

-Han

Ch-ch-ch-ch-anges.

Tonight (which was actually many nights ago since I am late posting this on here) I was thinking about the thing that went around Facebook where you said twenty-five random things about yourself and if mine had changed any sense I wrote it a few months ago. A lot about life has changed, but what about facts about myself. What would I add or subtract from my list?

This is what I wrote on February 4, 2009, but now I’m going to edit it to my life as of December 15,2009.
1.) My full name is Hannah Alise Langdale, and I love it :).
This is still very true! I love my name, probably more than a person should.
2.) I have a 10 year plan, which I fully intend on living my life by and everything being perfect – even though I know it won’t!
This one makes me laugh because the past 10 months of my plan have definitely not been perfect!
3.) My favorite color is yellow, because it was my Granny’s favorite color and when she died I made it mine because for some strange reason I thought it would disappear if it wasn’t someone’s favorite! I was such a sheltered child!
I still love yellow.
4.) I don’t get attached to people very often, but when I do – I get really attached.
Once again, still very true.
5.) In all of the people in the whole entire world I only trust two of them enough to share any secret. One everyone could guess, because she is my best friend, but the other may shock people.
Still true, and I am so very thankful for my ‘secret keepers’ even though one of them doesn’t realize completely that he is.
6.) I hate change, and as selfish as it is – most change in my eyes is bad.
This is semi-true, because I have learned how to embrace and enjoy change even when I don’t like it at first.
7.) I have a thing with lists, and I make about three a day.
Oh yes, I love list! Seriously, they’re sticky notes all over my room, car and desk.
8.) I thrive off of pressure.
Definitely still true.
9.) I only like certain social settings.
This one isn’t all that true, because I have learned to enjoy just about any social setting and I am very proud of myself for it.
10.) I can’t sing well, but I really wish I could.
I am now substituting my sadness of a sucky singing voice, by playing piano and I really like it!
11.) I love a sale! I could spend hours at Belk looking through clearance racks.
Definitely, and now that I have a job, I do this much more often than I should ;).
12.) For the most part I like my new extended family better than my ‘older’ one.
This means many things, all of which are still true.
13.). I really like to dance!, but its more fun while in certain peoples company :).
Oh yes, because “Baby, you can have whatever you like” .. haha!
14.) I have a car, but no license – and I am content with that!
I now have a license and Chanel, who is my gorgeous kitty.
15.) I’ll be a lawyer one day.!
The jury is now out on this one (no pun intended) but I am still going to law school.
16.) I vent emotions by going for a walk.
I now just do this every day to waste time, but I enjoy it much more when I am stressed or worried.
17.) I like the radio better than CD’s most of the time.
Still true.
18.) Seven people that I have been close to have completely walked out of my life.
Well, that can be changed to six and a half because I am beginning to reconnect with one of those people.
19.) When I am missing people, I listen to songs that remind me of them.
Exactly what I am doing right at this very moment!
20.) I can’t wait to transfer schools, even though I have enjoyed my time at Salk.
This one makes me laugh too, because not only am I staying at Salk – but I work there!
21.) I sometimes miss the good ole' FCA days.
This is true.
22.) I went to DC for my first ‘real’ trip this past December, and I loved it!
Oh yes, and I can’t wait to go back this summer!
23.) I hated having pictures on the wall until I moved into this room.
New room .. and even more pictures on the wall! Photo frames are definitely my new thing.
24.) I am a focused person, but people who really know me could tell you that I have a fun side too.
Still true.
25.) I am a awful liar, and sometimes I wish I was a better one. Haha. (But just so you know, I didn’t lie the entire time I did this!)
Oh yes, definitely still true!

That was so intersting because large parts of my life have changed in that past ten months, but only a few things on this list. What it showss me is that I am who I am, and I have the goals that I have no matter where I am in life. If its a happy day, a sad day, a peaceful day or a stressful day -- God has me in the palm of His hand and He knows the big picture evn when it seems so unclear to me at times.

--Han

Eh, maybe tomorrow ..

I have come to realization in life that I am always saying tomorrow, but when I say tomorrow I then say that it is too late. This had been the case with not only blogging, but also with something in my personal life. I write things in Word on almost a daily basis, but often I am too lazy to edit them so they can be posted on here and then I think about how it would be lame to start posting again because its been two weeks. However, each day I say that that is just a day that eventually will make it three weeks.
Make sense?

So, as of tonight -- that is considered foolishness and if I want to write in Word for two weeks and then just post them all in one time here I am because it is NEVER too late to do something that you want to do - no matter if it's blogging or reconnecting with someone that you used to love.

Blessings.
--Han

You’re Breathing.

Ah, those two words bring back so many memories of the FCA days when Asher or Stephen would at least say them once a day. It’s an amazing thing to think about though .. you are breathing and there is nothing you can do to have constant control over your breathing patterns. Breathing is something that is so rarely thought of but it is what ultimately keeps us alive.

God breathed breath into all of our lungs, but are we using the breath that He gave us in ways that He desires us to? Are we using our breath to build people up, or tear them down? Are we using it to use language that we shouldn’t? Or maybe singing songs that are filled with vulgar and crude lyrics?

Ultimately, we need to ask ourselves multiple times a day whether or not we are using the breath that God gave us in ways that worship Him.

I do realize this is extremely short, but I don't know what else to add. I mean, just thinking about this is so powerful that I don't have words to express what I am thinking. Crazy, eh?

--Han

It's The Climb .. .

After all the times that I have been called ‘Hannah Montana’, I have finally discovered a Miley Cyrus song that I like! It’s called “The Climb”. The song has to do with how we chase our dream(s) and the stumbling blocks that can tend to get in our way.

I have felt this way about many things in my life. What I want seems so close, yet it is running faster from me than I can run to it. I have always been a bit of a ‘lets it done and over with’ type of person. I try to figure out ways to get things done, and get them done faster than they should be done. The fact of the matter is that we can just speed through life hoping that the next ‘phase’ will be better than the one that we are currently in. Life is a journey. Nothing will ever be completely perfect, and we should be thankful for every day that we are blessed to live of it. There is a line in the song that says something to the extent of how the parts of life that we struggle through to get to the good parts is what we will remember most. That is so extremely true. I will always remember the times of struggle in my life, that eventually got/will get me to where I wanted to be, or where I want to be.

I think that most of the population at some point in life either has a really high expectation of life or a low expectation of life, heck maybe even both. My goal is to find that middle ground. The place that no matter what happens I’m fine with it, even if it wasn’t part of ‘the plan’. Another part of the song is about how there will always be mountains that we will want to move, but sometimes we just have to face the fact that we are gonna lose the battle with it. Some mountains aren’t meant to be moved out of our lives. Sometimes mountains are there to make us stronger, and to help us realize who we really are. I think of all the times that I have almost settled because a mountain was in my way that I didn’t want to face. I honestly have no clue why I didn’t just let it go and settle, but I haven’t. It semi-scares me about how my life would end up if I would have settled with what I knew I didn’t want, but thought I did because it was the easy way.

I guess the point I am trying to get through is don’t ever settle, give up, or forget about your dreams. I feel like a silly little girl talking about dreams, but lets face it – we all still have them! We all want to be great things in life. We all still have the ‘little kid’ moments where we think about what we want to be “when we grow up”. Don’t let your dreams slip away for any reason!

Lastly, I want to say that I am so very thankful for the people in my life who have loved me thus far in ‘my climb’. I can’t express how much I am thankful for the ones who have been with me during the hardest and the happiest times in my life. The ones who have stuck around even when I wasn’t being the person that I should have been. I am so very thankful for those people. I love you all :).

Okay, well I guess I am done! I am going to end with my favorite quote, which I think goes perfectly with this blog.

"What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us". - Ralph Waldo Emerson

-Han